Thursday, October 28, 2010

Joelle Robinson said, "I really need to find a sick lion...I could use some good protection."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I wish this were wish fulfillment, but it's not.

I committed suicide, yesterday.

I woke up again, today.

This is very troubling.
Thankfully, the weather stayed warm and gentle for most of November, which lent living out of his car a rather charmed feeling.

He met a student, young man, who lived in the dorms above where he worked, and showered there every day before work, in exchange for after hours access to restricted computing sites.

Friday, October 22, 2010

From what to who

The joy of finding $20 in one's spring coat pocket: this was the joy that sustained her through Ohio's other three seasons.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

And the rest of his days played out thus.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

That wet earth smell, or the first cut grass of the season. Wearing a hooded sweater, and sweating while you walk home, cigarette in one hand, their hand in your other. Laughing after sweat salty kisses.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

"He wrote about my boots. Foot ware. Seriously!" I laughed and my girlfriend looked at me like I was crazy.

I continued, "My shoes rarely fit my outfit. Back then, I had these busted up, repainted seven times shit stomping boots. I've still got 'em but they're painted white now. They're awesome. Anyhow. Now, I've got this shiny pair of black shoes, but I'm wearing rumpled cargo khaki and a purple button down, and my undershirt doesn't fit quite right, either."

"You're a mess, you know that?"

"Yes. Today, so we could eat, and have gas money, I donated plasma."

Monday, October 11, 2010

He said, "I just don't know how he can wake up miserable every damn day. He's got an amazing wife, a job, and a lot of other things we don't."

I stared into my beer, and I didn't say a word, and the conversation changed, and life went on, but I was thinking: What could make a person wake up miserable every day?

I think it is this: Not being loved by the people who should love you, and not being (at least) marginally self sufficient.

If I were to wake up tomorrow, and I wasn't loved, or even if it dawned slowly on me that I wasn't being loved any more, then I'd be half as happy as I am now.

If I were to wake up tomorrow, unemployed, I would be half as happy as I am now.

Friday, October 1, 2010

How It All Started.

She lit a cigarette, the car window rolling down automatically, as she said, "You can pay me back someday."

Her passenger nodded and smiled graciously. He thanked her.

He never paid her back.

How to say, "I love you" ? (the answer is easy.)

The two young boys sat on the dock, feet dangling in their small lake, wrapped in fog. The smaller one shuddered, and his friend wrapped him in a coat. Their fingers touched, and one of them apologized, as they both reached absently for another mouthful of caramel corn.